How Australians can survive a Zombie Apocalypse

Around the internet there are many ‘How to’ Guides on How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse, which all come in pretty handy, unfortunately many are written by Americans with many of the survival methods actually available in the rest of the world – including Australia.

Therefore, on behalf of those Australians who are preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse, the team here at Horror Australia have come up with some tips to help ensure that Australians can survive a Zombie Apocalypse.

The Zombie Apocalypse Theory
We all find comfort knowing that scientists across the world are using their knowledge, which if we were to be honest is far superior to our own, to solve the worlds biggest questions.

How did the world begin? Is their an effective cure to all of the disease that quite cruelly rips families apart? Right? Wrong there are many scientists across the world that are in fact using their knowledge to look into the Zombie Apocalypse, how such an apocalypse will start and the most effective ways to survive such an outbreak.

Is the Zombie Apocalypse possible? According to various scientific studies the answer is yes.

Recently a virologist from the University of Miami, Dr Samita Andreansky, confirmed that her studies indicate that the airborne virus indicated in the hit movie 28 Days Later is the most likely zombie apocalypse scenario, before going on to say that she believes she will be able to create such a virus.

Speaking to National Geographic Dr Andreansky claims that it is theoretically possible to genetically engineer a hybrid of rabies, influenza and Ebola which would effectively create a RAGE VIRUS. The rabies would make people act like zombies, the influenza will make the virus airborne, with the Ebola component simply added to spice up the mix to ensure the ‘zombies’ are bleeding from the guts.

Alternatively Harvard-trained ethonbotanist Wade Davis travelled throughout Haiti, where it is claimed that their Hoodoo men throughout history and folklore have created Zombies, where he convinced some of the modern day Hoodoo men to teach him the technique to creating his own zombie.

Davis wrote each process down in an attempt to find a common element. Upon reviewing his notes at the completion of his trip to Haiti he noticed one common element throughout each of the different processes, the use of a puffer fish which contains tetrodotoxins—a hallucinogenic drug that Davis claims can create a zombie-like state.

He now claims that he has recreated the ‘Zombie Powder’ in a controlled environment laboratory and can now turn anyone he wants into a mindless wandering zombie.

These off course are just some of the many studies and theories behind the Zombie Apocalypse, there are many more theories available browsing the internet.

Proof the Government are Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse
So Horror Australia made a couple phone calls in an effort to find out how our government are preparing for a potential Zombie Apocalypse and effectively got the run around or laughed of the phone.

In order to showcase that some Governments across the globe are preparing for the ‘impending’ Zombie Apocalypse we turned to the United States of America – we know not the best example considering many would say they elected a Zombie into the top office n the country, but hey it gives us some content for this region so why not right?

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention – otherwise easier known as CDC – has their plan in place in case of the Zombie Apocalypse.

The CDC encourages all families to have an emergency kit ready for when the hordes of Zombies start towards your house, trying to break down doors and eat the brains of you and your family members. These emergency kits, according to the CDC, should consist of: Water, Food, Medication, First Aid equipment, Sanitation and Hygeine, Clothing and Bedding, Tools and Supplies and important documents.

They also recommend that your family previously discuss a meeting place so if you are separated in your scramble for your lives that you have a meeting point so you can reconnect and go all The Walking Dead together.

However in the interest of fairness the CDC’s own policy in the event of the Zombie Apocalypse includes consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care. Which means these guys are going to bring Zombies inside their building to try to talk to them – anyone who has even seen a scene from a zombie movie or television show knows this isn’t the brightest idea.

It may however surprise you that the CDC are not the only government organization to be planning against the Zombie Apocalypse with documents revealing that the Pentagon has a plan to enter combat against a Zombie invasion.

The document, titled Conplan 8888, was constructed as a training thought experiment and states that it was ‘NOT designed as a joke’.

Conplan 8888 outlines the governments planned response to a Zombie invasion, which includes mobilizing forces against them and treating them as unreasonable foe. Their document however does not provide for good reading to anyone hoping the government will come to our rescue in the event of the Zombie Invasion or Apocalypse.

The Government has ‘no ground combat forces capable of repelling a zombie assault,’ and that air forces will be crippled after a week, which is roughly the same time they predict that command centres will be overrun by armies of the dead.

Plan B anyone?

Ways Australians can survive a Zombie Apocalypse!
Finally the reason why you are all here – lets find out how as Australians we will be able to survive a Zombie Apocalypse should a crazy scientist creates an airborne rage virus, or by other means. While first and foremost our first call would be to Thor and Wolverine (who are both Australian) to come and protect us – just on the off chance they are busy, and considering we don’t have Chuck Norris’ phone number, we have had to come up with our survival plan and wanted to share it with our fellow Australians.

Okay so we stole this idea from the CDC list earlier, but really it is a no-brainer isn’t it? To have some sort of emergency kit that you can grab if you are escaping out of the backdoor while zombies are doing their best to breakdown your front door?

So we know the Zombie Apocalypse is a touchy subject and many don’t want to have their “Go Bag” sitting beside the front door for all of their family and friends to see while we are all awaiting the moment we hear of the zombie outbreak – so first and foremost you can keep this in a cupboard, wardrobe or on a hook on the back of the door – the important thing being that you can grab this and ‘GO’, hence the name.

What do we recommend you put in the Go Bag?

  • Drinking Water;
  • Non-Perishable Food;
  • First Aid Kit – not only to treat any wounds by being attacked by zombies, but to help repair any injuries obtained from having to break into houses, businesses etc for shelter or restock of supplies;
  • Hygiene Goods – such as soap, towels and hand sanitizer;
  • Utility supplies such as batteries, knives, can opener, torches, matches;

Other items to consider placing in your Go Bag include a phone, keys and enough gas in your car, most importantly a weapon to protect you and your family. Shovels, Baseball bats, Cricket Bats, and Knives are recommended considering not many Australians have access to firearms – although when the apocalypse is in full swing feel free to target a gun shop for resupplies.

Have a Plan
There is no point walking and/or driving aimlessly around, you are wasting your petrol and other resources, which is why one of the most important things to take into account when preparing for a Zombie Apocalypse is to have a plan.

Make sure that between your family members you have identified a safe assembly area, including the easiest route and a back up route to reach the area.

It is also important to take note of your closest hospital, gas station, grocery store, and bank.

But the most important rule to surviving a zombie apocalypse is to ensure that you know every possible exit out of your home town, including alternative routes to make it to the exits, and having a back up rendezvous point in case you and your family need to completely evacuate your town.

Zombie-Proof Your House
By all reports Zombies are not the brightest bunch. Therefore it is highly unlikely that your next door neighbour who has been affected by the airborne Rage Virus will be in a position to simply knock on the door, ring your door bell, or even turn the handle.

It is also highly doubtful that those affected by the Rage Virus will have the capacity to act normal and ‘con’ you into opening the door to let them in.

Which is why one of the biggest tips to survive a zombie outbreak is to Zombie Proof your house. Using the wood from the crumbling dog house you started to build a few years ago when you first brought your puppy – who is now struggling to sit down due to old age – or from the tree house that you built for your children who have now grown up and flown the nest – to barricade your windows and doors to have additional protection between your family and the horde of zombies attempting to get their next feast.

Push any furniture that you will not be using during the next few weeks during this outbreak against doors, or flip them to add additional barricades against the windows.

Finally, zombies are meant to have trouble climbing uphill. So if you are to set up base somewhere look for the highest point you can. Abandon your lower floor if you have a two story house, if you know an abandoned house up on the hill try and take it over and turn it into your fort.

If all else fails for us survivors out there who have read this article – we will meet you at Ayers Rock. Bring your go bag!

Lets face facts. If you are heading into this with your friends, family or you just want to survive this zombie outbreak the time will come when it will come down to you or the zombie.

This is where the weapon that we prepared with our go-bag comes in handy. No matter what your weapon of choice is to see of through this tough period, it is time to put our big pants on and face these creatures face to face.

Everyone agrees that hitting at the body of these zombies, and yes that includes hitting them with bullets (preferably fired from a gun) is just wasting your energy, and the strength of your weapon.

Therefore there is just one golden rule when that final battle comes, aim for the head. With no head there is no Zombie as simple as that. Aim for the head – don’t miss.

So lets do it Australia – lets survive a Zombie Apocalypse!

Facebook Comments

Check Also

Devil in the Detail: Martin Bryant

It’s a crime that shook Australia to its core. The peaceful, historic tourist destination Port …